(Chuck Norris)...

...doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

...doesn't sleep, he waits.

...is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

...doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.

...can slam a revolving door.

...counted to infinity...............TWICE!!!

...can divide by zero.

...is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

...can speak Braille.

...knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

...once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

...can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

...can kill two stones with one bird.

...was once wrong, but only because he thought he had made a mistake.